July 2006 Newsletter

Understanding Body Language

An important segment of our S.A.F.E. program is Verbal Self-Defense. But being a ‘Tough Target’ and projecting a ‘Tough Demeanor’ consists of a combination of words, voice, facial expressions, body posture, positioning, and distance. Taken together, these express the message of the actual words or phrases we use, like ‘BACK OFF’ or ‘GET AWAY’. What is essential is to be congruent in the above-mentioned modalities. For example, your child will not take you seriously if you are laughing or smiling while reprimanding them. In maintaining your ‘Safety Bubble’ and using verbal self-defense strategies, you absolutely must be able to project this ‘Tough Demeanor’. No questions asked. Period!

If you have a quiet nature or a non-threatening personality type, to be convincing and effective, you MUST be dramatic to project a ‘Tough Demeanor’. A ‘Bad Guy’ needs to be clear about your intent. You want him to back off or leave you alone, and you want to leave absolutely no room for doubt as to that intention. But remember, you don’t have to actually BE a ‘Tough Target’, you only have to be perceived as one! Smaller animals when approached by larger predators in the wild ‘puff’ themselves up by posturing, movement, noise, etc. The Blowfish actually blows up it’s body and makes itself larger, less easy to attack. We too have strategies to implement to get the same effect, warding off our potentially ‘Bad Guy’ predators.

INTUITION

The flip side of this is reading other people and learning to pick up on their intent. We absolutely need to be aware of others and our surroundings at all times. And what I mean is to not only be alert to things or people that seem out of place or incongruent, but to learn to identify and respond to incongruent signals automatically. To avoid potholes in the road, we need to know what a pothole is, what to look for, and how to steer clear of it. We also need to react quickly to avoid tearing up the underside of our car.

Our greatest and most valuable safety gift is our intuition or ‘gut’ feeling. We must ALWAYS listen to a gut feeling, never trying to logic it out for any reason, no matter how contradictory our feeling may seem. Our intuition is always right. We need to become more adept at noticing details about someone that we get a bad feeling about and understand why we have that feeling by putting a face on it. Your gut tells you something is not right about a person. Next, you become conscious of the details: his posturing, his loitering behavior, the way he is sizing people up, his body tension, the way he clutches his fist, his stare, etc. You should never delay in employing a safety strategy for your protection, especially based on a gut feeling. When you honor it and carry out your safety strategy, your intuition will be confirmed about how and why you had this feeling.

If life were a Jerry Springer stage, we would see who was going to attack us and probably have a pretty good reason why too. But life is not that obvious or simple. There are NO guaranteed strategies to help us avoid absolutely all attacks. We can be the best and most defensive driver on the road, but still get t-boned by someone running a red light at an intersection. We can only prepare and stack the odds in our favor to the best of our abilities regarding our personal safety. Even the best-trained martial artist, fighter, soldier or law enforcement agents cannot protect themselves from an attack they didn’t see coming, or one they saw coming but too late.

TIME AND DISTANCE

Time and distance are either our friends or our foes depending on how much or how little of them we have. If we respond too late or have too little distance between us and a ‘Bad Guy’, we have severely compromised our safety. The time that elapses between an impending attack and executing a response is called ‘Survival Reaction Time’. So our goal is to have as much ‘Survival Reaction Time’ in a potentially threatening situation, which will position us most powerfully. Our intuition is our alarm and then we need to assess the situation based on the cues we pick up. These cues literally will telegraph a person’s intent to us. Business people, attorneys, police interpreters, martial artists, etc. study non-verbal cues to better read people. Meaning, intention, truthfulness, even deceit can be interpreted by body cues and signals.

INTENT

Meaning and intent are transmitted in three modalities:

1) Words (actual dialogue)
2) Voice (how something is said via tone, inflection, pitch, rate, volume, etc.)
3) Body language (movement, posturing, gestures, positioning, distance, etc.)

BODY LANGUAGE

Percentages vary from various studies and experts, but most agree that words account for approximately for 10%, voice 30% and body language 60% for one’s communication. So, most of our communication is non-verbal and conveyed through body language. Think about watching a Mime and how we know exactly what they are conveying with only body movements and facial expressions. The way we carry our body and project ourselves can either make us an easy target or a ‘Tough Target’. And remember, 80% of the time ‘Tough Targets’ don’t get chosen. Knowing what to look for and being attentive is a necessary shift one needs to make to lead a safer daily life. Examples of body language to be aware of in individuals preparing to attack or who aggressively approach you are:

Blading (placing the dominant foot to the rear and adopting a more solid stance from which to launch an attack)
Clenching or pumping the fists
Clenching the jaw
Extreme trembling
Looking around before moving in or closing distance
Distracting, aggressive, or even inappropriate dialogue
Rapid shallow breathing
Stoppage of movement
Thousand-mile stare
Shoulder shrugging or rolling

Notice people in your different surroundings and play a game where you observe their behaviors, body movements, posturing, facial expressions, etc. Become aware in movies and TV shows of the aggressive behaviors and posturing the actors exhibit before they make aggressive moves or attack someone. Make it your job to constantly increase your awareness of those around you to better position yourself outside the predator zone. Remember, you are 100% responsible for your safety and the more you educate yourself the better prepared you will be and the less likely you are inclined to have your personal safety compromised.

Mark Spencer, M.A. , S.A.F.E.

© Copyright 2006 S.A.F.E. All rights reserved.